42 Days

I am in debt.  I am seriously overweight.
 I am in a pattern of squandering nickles and dimes and time.

I am blessed with abundant joy.  I am able to work and am employed. I am healthy AND, I am able to make different choices.

And so, inspired by my friend and writing coach mary anne radmacher who often shares the quote of Annie Dillard, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our life."  starting today, for 42 days, I will pay attention to how I "spend my days".

I am not going on a diet and I am not planning to hock my precious things to get out of jail free but I am going to "live with intention" ( another mary anne gift of words ) or at least sit up and take notice instead of plodding along with a sense of dissatisfaction not so much about the path I am on but about whether or not that path is going where I want to go.

I may not change anything - I may change one thing - or two- or many, but I am hoping after 42 days that I will have a clearer view of  how  my choices are affecting how I want to spend the rest of my life. mary anne also offerred me a word to try on - abstemious.  I am going to see how that word fits into my life choices.

For the next 42 days I will also write every day.  I will record my observations, whether my choices have been "good" ones or "bad" ones measured by how they keep me on the staight path or lead me down a path of adventure or "mis" adventure. Have I been generous? too generous? or too stingy?  Have I been kind? Have I been a martyr? Have I been self indulgent or restrained?

I will share my observation here  unless they are a little too raw for sharing, instead needing to be digested before I "aire my dirty linens" as my Grandma Maude used to say.

I chose 42 days for a reason.  In 42 days, on July 20th we will be having a baby shower for my youngest daughter.  She is expecting my 6th grandchild (or 9th if you count them by who you love not by genetic make up). I would like to wear a pretty dress in a size that feels more comfortable.  I would like to shower her with gifts that don't make me fret about finances. I would like to welcome that wee one, probably the last, into a life with lots of time dedicated to being the best "Gramma Bevy" I can be.

Stay tuned.  It should be a fascinating 42 days. 
Just so you know -  I started it with Ice Cream. !!!!