Day 7 - 8 - 9  of 42

All work and no play makes Beverly a dull girl

True, funny story - I posted on face book that all work and no play was making me a dull girl.
My 14 year old grandson, Axel Henry, a brilliant, amazing, kid, posted back

" It made you a dull girl a while ago, grandma bevy" 

I laughed out loud.  Belly laughed. 
How wonderful to have a grandson who banters, who is witty, who is so comfortable in our relationship that he can push the envelope - just a little but is in fact, loving and respectful, and funny.

But.....

If there is a grain of truth in every thing, what is the grain of truth in this silly little bit of Facebook banter?

Am I all work and no play? Am I, heaven forbid, dull?

I made a committment to make intentional choices for 42 days and see what I learned in that time and if my choices serve my purpose.

I spent days 7, 8 and 9 of 42 Days choosing to work - (with a broken toe ). I worked extra hours in other departments taking away from time to write, to rest, to go to church even. Why?

The truth is I was scheduled to work a four day stretch to accomodate vacation time coming up.
The truth is we were very short staffed and had a heavy census.  And so in spite of the stretch ahead, I worked even more - for not enough more money.- and gave up plans to do other things. Why? To help out the people I work with day to day.  To serve the purpose of honoring my committment  - and habit - of service to others where I can when I can. 

The bigger question , the one I am spending 42 days examining, is - did this choice serve my here and now 62 year old purpose?   Was there a better choice? Is there another calling for my time and talents as I turn 63 and 64 and 65..... or are these in fact good, honorable, worthy choices that I make? 

Now there are choices in choices.  In spite of the extra time, I continued to make better choices on what I was going to eat, I kept some other committments and I did write every day with the writing coach, just not here.  I slept in when I could and I slathered that toe that was working way too hard with soothing balms when it wasn't shoved in a shoe. And I breathed in awareness.

Oh, and I laughed, out loud, long and hard, when I read my dear, sweet Axel's reply.

I will show him. He is coming here next week.  He will not find a dull gramma bevy, but a sparlking diamond of a old broad.  I choose that.
  

Day 6 of 42

The PeAr becomes and  APpLe

I was always a pear.  I just was.  Actually I was a ruler for a long time   Straight up and down, no boobs, no belly, hips just big enough to start holding babies by 8 and having em by 18.
The pear came along in it's time.  Soft but not squishy, still a size ten and then 12,   I was fine with that.  I like being tall, I like being flat chested..... I liked being a pear. 

And then, one morning when I wasn't paying attention, I got to be an apple. It was never my goal. 
It was like a  pillow that got stuck to me when I got up one morning but I recognized it right away for what it was.  Belly Fat.  That fat that you know, you just know, is the minefield of all the commercials and magazine articles about RISK.  Risk of diabetes, risk of heart disease, risk of stroke - who sent me this unwanted gift anyway????????????

A lean and lanky kid in the 50's I did all the things in the famililar facebook blog about heading out the door after breakfast and coming home for dinner. 
I played hopscotch and jumprope, climbed trees, rode a bike miles at a time, swam in the local swimming hole. 
Then there were the chores. Walking to the grocery store - and back with bags of groceries.  Vacuuming and scrubbing floors on Saturday morning - before cartoons once we got a TV.
Mowing and raking, picking apples, making pies. All that.  Just like every other kid I was friends with.

That all served me well past my 50's and into my sixties.  I was the wife and mother who helped put on the new roof, chopped wood, drove the truck without power - anything. I had natural childbirth four times without too much fuss.  Nursed em all and carried them on my back or pushed the wheelbarrow full of them to the parades and ball games. Now I truck the grandbabies around and we garden and make bread and do and do and do.

So how come the pear decided to abandon me now after all these years? and what to do, oh, what to do about the apple?

bevelry.

Day 5 of 42

Lists and Kindnesses

I am in the middle of a writing process with my friend and writing coach, mary anne radmacher.
This week we are doing "lists". She assigns us a list to keep during the day and we keep it.

I am inately a list maker.  To do lists of every form and variety have graced my pockets and purses.  I am partial to 3x5 cards, but any lined paper will do.   (blank paper scares me - It leaves too much room for chaos and a list is NOT chaotic.)

List sharing this week has lead to many kindnesses. 

My recent lists  yielded -
 a ride to a medical appointment - and home - to find the lawn mowed.
a drive way filled with cobblestone in exchange for a neighbor using my yard to get to his.
and a snail mail package filled with clothes that will fit while I sort out my body shape at 62.

All kindnesses that came from expressing needs listed on the list. 

hmmmmm.

maybe the most important part isn't making the list - maybe it is in sharing what you learn you need when you make it. 

Food for thought.
bevelry

Day 4 of 42

My refridgerator is almost empty. 

If you open the door, the light will come on and you will find
A Brita pitcher of cold water
one half empty container of vanilla greek yogurt.
half and half that will probably curdle if you put it in coffee
butter.
1/2 dozen eggs
three juice box size boxes of milk
one can of tuna
a tupperware container with some left over steak
carrots  - oldish carrots
a few hunks of a variety of cheeses that are older than the carrots
and condiments

When I was a young mother and pay day was days away and this happenned I would make big bowls of jello and if the kids said " there is nothing to eat"  - I could say - "There is not nothing, there is jello. "

                                                      *******************

If how you spend your days is, of course, how you spend your life ( Annie Dillard ) then.....

WHat you have in your refridgerator is, of course, what you will eat.

Well, payday is tomorrow and I am on day 4 of 42 days of good choices so I have to make some - good choices that is - not cookies I guess.

It is always tempting to try a structured "diet", to count calories or grams of fat, or carbs, but instead I think I will head to the greengrocer and fill my refriderator with glorious color.

Strawberries are in season here in Upstate New York.  Spring greens are abundant.  Kathleens ducks are laying multicolored eggs. Sugar Snaps peas are fresh and local and yum.  I think I will choose that today.

Gotta Go, my oldest son Billy, is mowing the lawn for me and he has chosen steak and eggs - a wise choice from the available menu. 

bevelry

Day 3 of 42

What's so "Bad" about the bad days

What is a bad day anyway?
In the global sense, truly, I have had very few bad days.
As my dear friend Peta taught me - "every day can't be the worst day" and I am healthy, don't live in a war zone, can and do work, and have  family and friends to love and who love me.

And so, perspective must reign. 

My daily perspective is joy and gratitude and a sense of abundance so how does "bad" fit into that ?

Well, if I am honest, "bad" is where I am self indulgent.  It is the place in my life that is all about me-
Bad days are the days I never touch the Bible, Eat like a mowing machine without discretion or thought - and often without enjoyment - stay up too late and fall asleep in the computer chair putting my new metal neck at risk.
Bad are the times that I reflect on the fact that I have once again bitten every nail to the quick on a drive that only took ten minutes. Nail biting at 62 - what a dissapointment I am - to myself.
Bad are the days that I have bought lunch for expedience and gastronomical delight only to be left with the indigestion of a bill that can't be paid - yet.
Emma, the canine I have chosen to love, thinks a bad day is one when we haven't ventured out exploring.
Bad are the days that I go to bed wishing I had done it differently. 

39 more days to get in the habit of abstemiousness mixed with excess without regret.

Join me.  So far it's fun.

bevelry

Day 2 of 42 days

What IS a "good " day?


Time with God. Time in The Word. Time in Prayer . Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication.

"good " choices.  about food. about money. about time.  "Good" being the ones that feel right AFTER you make them.  That digest well.  That set you on the rigth path throughout the day.

Kindness. Snail mail sent.  Stickers in the mail to a wee one. A thank you note. An invitation.
A phone call returned.

A day filled with gratitude, noticing the joy that surrounds us.

more later...........

                                             42 Days

I am in debt.  I am seriously overweight.
 I am in a pattern of squandering nickles and dimes and time.

I am blessed with abundant joy.  I am able to work and am employed. I am healthy AND, I am able to make different choices.

And so, inspired by my friend and writing coach mary anne radmacher who often shares the quote of Annie Dillard, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our life."  starting today, for 42 days, I will pay attention to how I "spend my days".

I am not going on a diet and I am not planning to hock my precious things to get out of jail free but I am going to "live with intention" ( another mary anne gift of words ) or at least sit up and take notice instead of plodding along with a sense of dissatisfaction not so much about the path I am on but about whether or not that path is going where I want to go.

I may not change anything - I may change one thing - or two- or many, but I am hoping after 42 days that I will have a clearer view of  how  my choices are affecting how I want to spend the rest of my life. mary anne also offerred me a word to try on - abstemious.  I am going to see how that word fits into my life choices.

For the next 42 days I will also write every day.  I will record my observations, whether my choices have been "good" ones or "bad" ones measured by how they keep me on the staight path or lead me down a path of adventure or "mis" adventure. Have I been generous? too generous? or too stingy?  Have I been kind? Have I been a martyr? Have I been self indulgent or restrained?

I will share my observation here  unless they are a little too raw for sharing, instead needing to be digested before I "aire my dirty linens" as my Grandma Maude used to say.

I chose 42 days for a reason.  In 42 days, on July 20th we will be having a baby shower for my youngest daughter.  She is expecting my 6th grandchild (or 9th if you count them by who you love not by genetic make up). I would like to wear a pretty dress in a size that feels more comfortable.  I would like to shower her with gifts that don't make me fret about finances. I would like to welcome that wee one, probably the last, into a life with lots of time dedicated to being the best "Gramma Bevy" I can be.

Stay tuned.  It should be a fascinating 42 days. 
Just so you know -  I started it with Ice Cream. !!!!